The School of Sex

This is a repost from my blog. You can view the story (and a wonderful photo of me and my mermaid) by clicking here.

How I ended up in someone else’s underwear is still a mystery to me. But, isn’t that a sign of a successful sex party?

Date With a Fetish Coach: Choosing and Using Props

Mad for the Women of Mad Men

There are only about three or four shows I stick with every season; Mad Men is one of them. It has failed to disappoint. And, most importantly, its cast of female characters are the strongest personalities on television!

Now I’m left to ponder what will come of season four’s Mad Men beauties… Further pondering then leads to how much I want to live their lives.

Could the Internet Damage my Sex Life?

Before my husband, I mostly met men for relationships and such over the Internet. In fact, I discussed my first explicit encounters in one of my posts. And, I hadn’t realized until after I wrote that piece how much of an impact my computer (and most other mobile devices) has had on my sex life!

Carrie Prejean “Defiled Her Body”

Like most figures in the media, I indirectly ignore Carrie Prejean’s face on websites and newspaper rags on a somewhat regular basis. I think I heard she was one of those pageant winners who flashed for cash (or for artistic expression, or whatever the cause may be). Now, I discovered that Prejean now aims her self-righteous pistols at the media and pornography for her inevitable fall from redemption.

Ask a Pervert: Weaponry in Role-Play

This is a new section in my website. You can check out other questions posted on the main page as well.

This question comes from allexperts.com

OK I am looking for some weapons to use to torture my friends while doing bdsm. Like some people are really scared when your rub a knife against someones pussy. Should I use a gun like a rifle or a pistol?
Any suggestions?

My first question to you is what type of role play scenario are you and your friend going to try? I know you said torture, but is it physical, verbal, or genital? This may help to narrow the selection of weaponry you need for intimidation, as well as how you’re going to play with it. Also, I want to assume that your partner is A-Okay with using weapons in your play session… if so, then let’s proceed.

If this is your first role-play session experimenting with weapons, then I would start with very simple, non-lethal items that you may have around your home. If you want to inflict some level of pain to your victim, er, I mean lover, then use clothespins for the nipples or genitals. You can even use ice – it may not seem so lethal but for a sensitive partner there’s nothing more intense than sliding a frosty ice cube up your lover’s anus or even teasing it against their genitals.

If you just want to intimidate your lover (Meaning you don’t actually want to hurt them), then ALWAYS use weapons that you’re both familiar with and you’re both comfortable handling. Also make sure that your lover knows that you will use a weapon to scare them. That way it truly becomes their decision if they want to play under these frighteningly sexy conditions. Knives may seem like a great idea, but even one with a dull blade can become dangerous if you’re not careful. If you have a pretty progressive sex toy shop in your area, then stop in and ask about toys that are for BDSM role-play. From there, you might be introduced to a number of fun torture implements like the Wartenberg Wheel and vampire gloves. A Wartenberg Pinwheel is a wheel with small, sharp, spikes on the edges. You can tickle your lover by rolling it gently against the skin, or it can become painful when you press the spikes downward. Here, you control the level of intensity and, by listening to your partner, you can use it for both intimidation and sensual play. Same goes for a pair of vampire gloves. These gloves have small needles planted into the palms and fingers. When you rub it against your lover’s skin, it can either tickle or torture. I’ve personally used both tools for sensual massages, genital torture, and extreme physical torture. I’ve also had them used on me so I know what my submissive partner is feeling. You can also go online to websites like JT’s Stockroom (www.stockroom.com). They also have a wonderful selection of BDSM tools.

Don’t EVER, EVER, EVER use a real gun on your partner. You know this, obviously, and of course you are talking about fake pistols and guns, preferably used to shoot water or nothing at all. Of course, you don’t want a REAL gun, right? Right! Well, fake guns are amazing intimidation devices for torture. I suggest doing a bit of legwork to see if there are dildos or other sex toys shaped like a gun (there has to be!). If so, you have a winner! You can use this for both intimidation or sex-play. If you are going to be using toy guns to “violate” your lover, then please don’t actually penetrate. None of these toys are made for insertion and since they are made of plastic, they can become uncomfortable. If your lover’s into it, make sure she plays with it first so she can determine how pleasurable the gun might be. Since a toy gun can be so, well, phallic, you can use the gun and stroke it against the pleasurable parts of her body.

If this is your first time playing, again, use non-lethal items for intimidation and pain infliction. If you’re both pretty familiar with BDSM and have practiced it a few times together, then check out BDSM sex toys like the ones mentioned above. Don’t ever use guns. Ever. And don’t use a lethal object (such as a knife or even a boxcutter) unless your partner knows in advance and understands the risk in using these items. There are always risks, so please be sure to use safe words to gauge your lover’s comfort and always keep a close eye on your lover’s well-being in case of changes. There is no safe way to use weapons for torture, but you and your lover can agree to make it safe and comfortable for the both of you.

Good luck!

Why I’m a Feminist Pervert

This is a repost of an original essay written here. No changes have been made.

Being a Fetish Coach is fun by definition and… (un)surprisingly, fun by practice as well. So far, with the few clients I have accumulated, it seems that these modern-day people feel as though they can lead their private lives out of the darker recesses of insecurity and shame; they can bring their perversity out into the open with acceptance and gratitude. Why gratitude? Well, haven’t you felt some hint of grace when impacted with that first passionate kiss, that untimely touch, that insatiable surge of sexual madness, as if you’ve been afflicted by some terrible disease? Weren’t you utterly happy to realize that your body, essentially, did not give way to civilized codes of conduct, that no matter what you’ve been taught, it still couldn’t help but drop a bit of genital dew when exposed to impassioned incidents and people? You know what I’m talking about. Backseat mischief, a subtle slide of the hand in a crowded restaurant, necking in the basement of your parents’ house?

What if I do Enjoy It?

There I said it.

AFN’s Road to Kink Presents: Sexual Sensory – Voyeurism

This was originally posted at my old website; but you can also check it out here. Also, next week, I will return with next Road to Kink articles!

The body, in various stages of movement and inaction, has been the basis of many Road to Kink topics. This week, we will return to it for our source of sexual inspiration and power. We’re going to take a look, have a smell, indulge in a taste, steal a touch, and listen in on the many, many forms of body worship.

As you can already tell, we’re focusing on the five senses, each of which can illicit fetishistic associations with either the purpose of each sense or the sense itself. Of course, we will talk about the many body parts that are fetishized by all, but, I thought we should at least appreciate the unforeseen power that our senses play on us when we live in our fetish. All of our senses provide rooted connections to us and our fetish-object. And, for some of us, we needn’t look too far for worship. Some of us simply need to take a whiff or listen in… and this is how we connect.

Sensory deprivation is a heightened and intense state of withdrawal of the senses. This is practiced throughout the BDSM community in many different ways. The absence of one sense can heighten the others. Take them all away and you have nothing but your own mind to keep you company, to expand upon the anxieties that may plague you, or to play upon the sheer ecstasy you may feel from being helpless, powerless, and constricted from doing what comes naturally.

Pretend now that I’ve deprived you of all five senses. Which would you want me to return to you first?

Sight is my safest bet. For many fetishists the visual cues that their fetish-object gives them is intensified through the aesthetic. Voyeurism is the arousal gained of spying in on others engaged in intimate acts. Not only do sexual encounters provoke Peeping Toms, but undressing and “upskirting” (looking up skirts with spy cameras) are also highlights.

Spy-cam pornography often helps to insatiate the fetish, popular website like Hidden Zone and Voyeur Porn feature semi-authentic footage of young ladies being caught in dressing rooms, bathrooms, and shower stalls. Strip clubs and peep shows offer the same advantage for voyeur who want to safely satisfy themselves.

Scoptophiles are similar to voyeurs; however, they enjoy the risk and consequential element of danger that comes with uninvitingly spying on others. The subject of gaze is objectified; its appearance is far more significant than its feelings or attitudes.

On the other side of the spectrum, autagonistophilia is a sexual fetish in which the fetishist purposely places his or herself in a situation where an onlooker may accidentally stumble upon the fetishist when s/he is naked. For example, an autagonistophile may leave the curtains open and the bedroom lights on when s/he is getting dressed. S/He is in the right spot where an onlooker could easily spy on them (which is the true intent of this entire occurrence).

Wow, look at the time! Four more senses to go. Which one should we focus on next?

We’ll found out later!

I Seduced Myself

This was originally posted at my old website. You can take a look at here. No changes were made to the essay.

As a lover of Greek mythology, I coveted a beautifully illustrated book in the children’s library. I can’t find the title or author of the book in question, nor is the name of the illustrator is familiar to me. Must find it! And when I do, I will tell you. But, let me go on to talk about one story in particular, one that haunted me almost as much as Orpheus’s journey to the Underworld, or the abduction of Persephone in the garden. This story is the tale of Narcissus and his reflection.