Womanly Things


david_bowie_gallery_labyrinth_5… I dreamt that I was on a date with Eddie Izzard… I dreamt that I was sitting on his lap right before he was about to perform. He had on his makeup and I was completely excited. When I woke up, I was on the subway, and I was fantasizing about the cute boys on the subway. Furthermore, I was imagining what it would be like to help them put on their lipstick. Help them shave off the remaining distraction of facial hair (though I love the feeling of stubble) and give them some foundation and mascara. Comb their wig. Pick out a dress…

… Hm… I know…

I imagined all day today with delight that perfect boyfriend… who loves to dress like a girl. I mean, I like girls. Girls are very beautiful and smell delicious and always feel soft. Today, for instance, I couldn’t stop looking at my co-worker’s cleavage. Whenever she wears this low cut top, her breasts are like perfect globes of femininity, peeking through the middle, along with a bit of her creme-colored bra. It’s hypnotic. But, I feel as though I might get bored. Crudely said, there’s not enough buttons or knobs or flashy bulbs to keep me entertained. Is this a horrible thing to say? Maybe… but it’s the truth. No, there’s a different kind of attraction when it comes to a boy with a fetish for womanly things. It’s like an endless playtime. A story so twisted and erotic.

Now, I’m not talking about the sissy sluts who want a girl to pimp them out to other men. No! They’re whiny and can’t be trusted, even if they do anything you say. Plus, the sex is lacking in the type of aggression and roughness that I’m so fond of. There’s nothing worse than limp sex with a sissy slut. It’s not like having sex with a girl, I’ll tell you that much. As a woman, I like having sex with a girl because it reminds me of an All-American summer. Barbecues, fireworks, and existential wetness. It’s fun. It’s always a bit innocent… particularly when other males are not watching, at which it becomes a sort of entertainment, a stolen perversity that I’m not down with.

There’s this one boy that I make out with who looks like he’s 18 when he’s actually 10 years my senior. I try to imagine if I can make him look like a passable girl… and then I wonder if he would dig it as much as I would. I seriously doubt it, so I know this will only be a high school fling, which is fun but fleeting and will eventually become boring. No, I need someone like the johns I would talk to when I was a phone girl. They were my absolute favorite calls. There were three of them. One was a divorcee fighting custody of his kids and dressed up in the privacy of his home. He would do it in public if not for his children, which is understandable. When we first spoke, he told me straightforwardly that he loves women and women only, so much so that he enjoys dressing up like one. He dreams of a sweetheart who would take pleasure in seeing him this way, but would also take as much pleasure in him remaining true to his manhood, going to work in suits and ties, and maintaining his masculinity while embracing his feminine side. Perfect! Another caller was also my favorite. He needn’t worry about his social reputation. In San Fran, he dressed any way that he wanted… and he wanted to sound and dress like a chick. But, that doesn’t mean he neglects his dick; he is fully aware of his sex and is proud of that too.

Picture this. Someone David Bowie or Iggy Pop-esque. I personally like them lean with cheekbones and potential for the type of beauty that boys must abandon once they enter this world. He has short hair, cropped, with great taste. I have a thing for Caucasians; I dig opposites. But, that doesn’t really mean too much if the chemistry’s right. When he goes out to work or to work-related events, he looks like a man. He has his suits, his jeans, his sports jerseys. He could be a model or a high priced gigolo. When he comes home, he and his lady (me) dress up together. Then, they do what they want, whether it’s going out for dinner and drinks or staying in for a movie. They have animal sex. They’re a kinky couple. Above all, he needs to already be into cross dressing.

I doubt I’d ever find an uber attractive transvestite… but once I do I will pounce on him completely…

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