Sex on the Brain – Doin’ It with Dogs and Children


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But, don’t we always have sex on the brain, America? Yep. This first week in June is already hot and steamy with some late-breaking news. People all across the nation are getting into trouble for not keeping their pants on! And for that, I’d like to thank them. Otherwise, I wouldn’t even know what to write about. Two thumbs up for the mom in Victorville who green-lighted the idea that her 15-year-old daughter could have sex with 25-year-old Anthony Vaux, a repeat offender out on parole. Details are very sketchy as certain questions remain unanswered. For example, did the mother actually consent to the sexual encounters between her daughter and this man? Or, did she know and not doing anything about it? Who was the anonymous tipper that was able to pry the cops away from their desks and into the bedrooms of these people? Was the mom fully aware of Anthony Vaux’s past and age?

Judging by the comments, assumptions have already been made. Perhaps a mini-prostitution ring is going down in this small Californian neighborhood! Or, perhaps, the mom was just complacent about her daughter’s sexual activity. Of course, no mom should allow their teenage daughter to bump uglies with a guy 10 years her senior whose done some jail time. But, what if it was a 25-year-old grad student? Or, perhaps, a regal college professor with facial stubble and a corduroy jacket? And has this mother sat her litte Lolita down for the big sex talk? Well, if her daughter’s learned nothing yet, then I think an important lesson is not to snog that cute guy with the rape van… and do NOT tell your frenemies on Facebook, who’ll tell their moms… who eventually will call the cops.

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Better idea, guys: Put an older woman's face on a prepubescent girl's body. If I was a young girl, this ad would make me want bigger boobs... actually... I still want bigger boobs.

Speaking of naughty teachers, one of them was smacked with the swift hand of the law in Elmsford, NY. After organizing a date via the internets, Anthony Cavaluzzi arrived at the Westchester Co. home and was disappointed that his underage date was not there and shocked to discover that in her place was a bunch of blue-suited pedo-haters. According to Cavaluzzi’s lawyer, his client suffers from deep depression and drug addiction… which makes me wonder if having sex with a young woman is meant to be perceived as part of his problem. What always bugs me about these incidents is that when men like Cavaluzzi chat with underage girls, the ladies they speak to are always very enticing and very explicit about their need for attention and sex. Is it wrong if the woman is establishing consent? Technically, no, but in the eyes of the law, yes. What Cavaluzzi taught us is that potential pedophiles (as in, the dangerous ones who prey upon children and forcibly manipulate and coerce young children into sex) might not learn anything from these Dateline-esque encounters, and that men out there just seeking some sexual kicks with a consenting partner (of age) should just stick to seedy bars and Sunday church like normal people.

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So, teens and underaged online vixens aren’t the only victims! Dogs, yes, dogs are getting some inter-species booty too. 21 year-old Troy Whitson of Cinebar, WA is being charged with bestiality and sentenced to 30 days in jail. He is also banned from owning a dog for a year and has to undergo a sexual deviancy evaluation (I would fail that test immediately, Troy, so no worries). What’s intriguing about this is that his first introduction into zoophilia was through a furry network. Furries are not normally known nor encourage inter-species encounters. However, Washington has transformed its animal cruelty laws, as bestiality was not illegal until 2006, after two well known incidents prompted lawmakers to pass a ban, One of them is the notorious zoo incident and the other is a video tape featuring a couple having sex with their pet dog. Personally, I don’t really know what the ideal punishment should be for bestiality, so I’m unsure if Whitson’s sentence is warranted. However, I can tell you that somewhere in Washington, a man’s best friend is missing his master’s intimate touch.

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    • Daisy Bruno
    • June 7th, 2009

    I enjoy making love to horses so I don’t understant why people freak out over animal love. As long as the animal enjoys it and is not forced to do it I see no victim.

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