Awkward Sex with David Carradine


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Dear David Carradine,

So… this is what you do with your time? Hm. Well, I’m not passing any judgments. You were one solid, badass dude. Plus, what most of America doesn’t realize is that autoerotic asphyxiation is a common practice, though it’s rarely talked about. Just a shame you were in the closet about it… literally.

So, why are so many of you dying to embark on this taboo sexual adventure? Well, lack of oxygen to the brain creates an euphoric sensation. Paired with genital stimulation, the effects can be rather gratifying. It is said that the Marquis De Sade commented on such pleasures, which could prove to be true. Since hanging was one of the primary means of execution back in the ol’ timey days, spectators witnessed the lynched grow erections (better known as death erections). Although, based on what we know now, the muscles relax post-mortem, which more than likely results in pitching a tent, farting, pooping, pissing, and vomiting. Surprise!

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Depending on what you’re into, death erections are the sexiest of all post-mortem releases.

Don’t fret, David. You have joined the ranks of notable autoerotic pervs who failed to play it safe. Some may think you committed suicide. But, we know you didn’t mean to leave us so soon. While we were all made aware of auto erotic accidents through Michael Hutchens’s own secret practice, one of the most notable case comes from Japan. In 1936. former prostitute Sada Abe strangled her lover, Kichizo Ishida, as part of their normal sexual play. However, things went terribly awry when Ishida encouraged Abe to continue the asphyxiation after he had ingested several sedatives. Once Abe realized Ishida was dead, she sliced off his penis and testicles and fled from the scene, only to be found three days later with his genitals.

Hm. Guess having a spotter isn’t always the best idea.

Anyway, David, we will truly miss you. Hope your final minutes on earth were filled with undeniable pleasure and happiness, although, if you were aware that your playtime became uncontrollable, then let’s hope that your fear and anxieties didn’t last long.

Sayonara, Kung-Fu Master

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  1. In honor of Carradine’s passing, i’m currently looking for decent deal on his Kung Fu seasons on DVD if i can find them…

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