Suck on It: True Blood Season 2 Premiere


I’m hooked. Absolutely fucking hooked. Last night’s season premiere of the popular HBO series True Blood has not failed to impress, although I believe part of it has to do with all of that vamp-friendly advertising that’s been going around. But, let’s not kid ourselves. What kind of vampire searches for jobs on Monster.com…? Readers, don’t let this phemonenon fool you, Real Vampires don’t blog.

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Nothing but the Blood, originally, seemed like a modest snooze-fest. Not much had happened in way of bloodshed; I was hoping they’d let Jessica, the new vampress in town, feed hastily on some nearby local. You know how teenagers can get: Once they grow a pair of fangs, they think they own the entire town. Just like her, I was disappointed to see she was at home with boring ol’ Bill experimenting with different types of Tru Blood, the synthetic vamp beer for those who don’t know how to live on the edge. Soon, we’ll hopefully see her exercise those jaws and bite into one of the rednecks at Merlotte’s. Just wishful thinking.

What I hope doesn’t happen is what we’ve seen lately in the vampire trend: Our mortal heroine as physically passive but emotionally active while her supernatural lover is a knight in shimmering armor… when exposed to the sun? *Twilight joke*. Bill Compton and Stephanie Meyer’s Edward Cullen both have violent tendencies that are dulled to an emo sensibility, partly so they can fit into society but also because they’re sensitive, misunderstood, and thus, MY NEW CRUSH! Sookie and Bella are also misunderstood, sensitive, and thus, JUST LIKE ME! You see where I’m going here? Not since the days of Buffy have we encountered women of a different breed, those who are just as active as their male counterparts in fulfilling their own destinies, and kicking ass in the process. In the first episode, we do see hints of this with our be-witching newcomer Maryann. Although her motives are still vague, we learn through Sam’s flashbacks of how the two are intimately connected (Let’s call it a fuck-and-run). She could possibly be using Tara’s closeness with Eggs to spark some trace of jealousy in Sam, but it’s too soon to tell. If you haven’t read Harris’s novels, then it might do you some good to read this article by the Associated Press. Maryann as a Maenad. I’m intrigued.

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A close friend and vampophile (I totally didn’t make that word up) has just finished the first of Charlaine Harris’s novels that are based on True Blood. She told me that Sookie on paper is less annoying than the Sookie we see bouncing before us, which I take great comfort in. She’s still either completely attracted to or repulsed by her undead lover, Bill Compton. In the first episode, she discovers that Bill killed her pedophiliac grand-uncle out of revenge, and ends up being angry about it….? ‘Scuse me, Ms. Stackhouse, most of us gals a) are unfortunate to know of an asshole whose wronged us in the past and b) wish our boyfriend can suck the blood out of said asshole and throw his body in the nearby water so hopefully we can earn an inheritance, if not, a sense of vindication. Or maybe that’s just me. *Shrugs* Anyway, what’s not dull about this couple are the sex scenes. As long as these two keep having kinky sex, I’m down to watch.

Bill sucking on Sookie’s sweet neck isn’t the only time we see some vampire action. It turns out that Lafayette is not dead but, rather, imprisoned in a dungeon with four other strangers. Turns out that my favorite vampire on the show, Eric, is out for revenge. He hasn’t forgotten that some time ago, three vampires were burned to death inside their home. Now, he’s looking for answers. And when one jack-ass burns him with a silver necklace, Eric once again reminds us that, yes, vampires are fucking dangerous.

And hot. Mmm. Me and my husband discovered that Alexander Skarsgard (Eric on True Blood), also leaves us speechless in the 7-part HBO mini-series, Generation Kill, in which he plays Sgt. Brad ‘Iceman’ Colbert. I completely overlooked his talent in the first season, so now I’m excited to see every move he makes in the oncoming episodes. His character, Eric, is the reason why I love vampire stories to begin with: Gore. Horror. Sheer blood and guts. Unlike Bill, Eric is old-school: He’s the predator. We’re the prey.

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Boy, I would give an entire pint of blood and then some to be in Pam’s shoes…

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