The Many Sides of My Orgasm


Don’t we all love orgasms? I know I do. And so do these two beautiful women – Carlin Ross and Betty Dodson. What’s so interesting is that the orgasms they describe are unlike those I experience. For good reasons, I’m sure. First, I’m rarely active after I have an orgasm. I suppose I’m like a man in this way; my body turns into ice cream in the sun. For example, rattled with stressful thoughts and anxious questions about my professional future, I was unable to go to sleep last night. Even my darling cats submersed in blissful slumber couldn’t influence me to relax. What I had forgotten is that I recharged my batteries just that morning. I retrieved my batteries, stuffed them into my vibrator, and got to work! It took a while, but, eventually I came. And, boy, right after that, I blacked out. Next thing I know, it was morning. My eyes opened. I looked down and saw my peach-pink vibe nestled in between my pussy lips. My mind felt clear; I felt relaxed. My orgasm helped me get through the night.

Another wonderful element that Betty mentioned is sexual fantasy, which is a solution for those who want an intense orgasm. She explained her own solo experience as being one in which she focused on her pussy and the stimulation she received through masturbation. As she got older, she had to use fantasies to keep the mojo flowing. For me, it had always been about sexual fantasy thanks, in part, to the Internet. As a teenager, my computer gave me easy access to pornography. I also used this internet to share my sexual fantasies with other users, fantasies that I would use as my own. I don’t know about you, but the old “women and children 1st” chant most certainly applies to Internet pornography. If in the right state of mind, women and teens (or children) can learn about sexual pleasure (not sexual education) through dirty movies. Anyway, once I received my 1st vibrator, I instantly remembered what I had watched on my computer screen and this instantly gave me an orgasm. As I grew older and developed a sex life, I no longer had to rely on porn. I just had to remember a story I heard, a movie, or even just a platonic moment I experienced earlier that day… I would pair that with desires I felt, unrepentant, shameless thoughts that, if anyone would ever know about, would sent me straight to hell or the psych ward, and BOOM! Orgasm!*

Vaginal contractions were also mentioned, which I’m glad they did! These same vaginal contractions are ones I discussed in my vulva post. However, when my orgasm is particularly intense, these contractions are involuntary. While voluntary contractions show my entire vagina and ass in the throes of a rhythmic little dance, involuntary pulses occur around the opening of my vulva specifically. As mentioned in Manual Control, it was like a fish gasping for air, pushing out the sweet juices of ejaculate, and pulling in a breeze that hits my clitoris, causing it to be sensitive a few minutes longer.**

Is this to say that one orgasm is better than the other? Of course not. Orgasms are always better than nothing! Most importantly, every woman will experience such physical pleasure differently. And we should celebrate those differences.

*Ladies, a tip: You will never be sexually free if you can’t throw sexual guilt out of the window. You need to give yourself permission to be a slut in your own mind. If you feel ashamed of your sexual fantasies, then your shame will overshadow your sex life.

**My theory about Vagina Dentata stems from vaginal contractions. Will look into it more, but, I believe that the original folklore might have began when a woman was found to exhibit signs of contractions through either masturbation or partnersex. Upon finding that his lover was “gripping” his penis, a man with little to no knowledge about the female anatomy might imagine that her gasping hole and strong muscles an unseen source of evil and pleasure. Just a thought, though.

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