Ask a Pervert: Age-Play Fantasy


My fiance and I have been together for 3+ years now and we have a pretty good sex life, but, I greatly enjoy age play along with the fantasy of being raped while in my “inner child” phase, but, I don’t know how to tell him. It has been disturbing me for a very long time. It sometimes inhibits my sexual urges and I greatly need to find a way around it. Please if you have any advice it would be wonderful.

What has been disturbing you? Are you disturbed that you have to tell your fiancee or that you have these kind of fantasies?

Age-play is more popular than we otherwise choose to believe. This popularity is reflected in our art, music, movies – everywhere. It speaks to a truer nature perceiving the child as sexual as well as sexualized. But, our society does have a very stigmatized view towards age-play and the misconceptions surrounding it. Some think it speaks to deeper psychological reflections of those who fantasize about it. But, I surely don’t think this is the only case.

Age-play, as well as other forms of role-play, integrates the imagination that we develop throughout our childhood with the realities that we are familiar with as adults. This leaves us room to contemplate our own idiosyncrasies and confront them in a way that makes us feel good. All of us do this in one way or another, and, in an accepting and healthy atmosphere, one can manifest these desires into a form of practice that they can use as often or as little as they wish. To repress these desires does not erase them. So, you can either choose to accept your own fantasies for what they are, and if you can accept the pleasure you receive from this fantasy, then you can be able to talk to your partner about it in a way that makes your partner comfortable and makes it easier for him to want to participate.

What I suggest is to masturbate and fantasize about your ideal age-play session. Include your lover in this fantasy and associate all of the wonderful sexual feelings you have with your partner with your fantasy and with the pleasure you derive from both. Remember the most erotic elements of your fantasy during the moment. And keep it with you.

The next time you and your partner are about to have sex, first engage in sex-play. This involves masturbation or just intimate touching while you introduce your fantasy in a very simple way. It can be something as simple as talking dirty or very light role-play so your partner can get acquainted with just a taste of your fantasies. For example, you can talk dirty to your fiancee about the idea of being taken advantage of or being dominated by an aggressive man. You can also use this in sex-play by asking him to be a little bit more rough or aggressive in the way that satisfies you. Just by bringing the feelings and sensations you receive from your fantasy into your bedroom, you begin to change your sex life in a small but very significant way.

See how he feels or reacts to this. And be open to whatever response he gives you. Be ready to initiate the conversation the next day. Think back on the night before and talk to him about the extra element of spice you added to the bedroom. From there you should talk to him about your fantasy. Talk about what the most erotic elements of your fantasy are and tell him how you want to replicate this in the bedroom. Be detailed but also be lighthearted about it. This fantasy makes you feel good, so you want to bring that same attitude to the conversation. By doing so, you alleviate the assumed judgment that your partner may have. If he sees you enjoy it, then he may follow suit.

Treat any sources of rejection or unsure answers like an opportunity to talk deeply about your fantasy. You don’t have to admit to being someone or doing something that is inaccurate. As a human being, you’re one who is filled with sexual desires like everyone else. And you’re not the only woman who has fantasized about being raped or dominated at any age. Remember this, and remember that what you’re asking for isn’t impossible or unrealistic. If he does become hesitant, then see if you can bring the fantasy into your sex life in some way or form, whether it’s through rough role-play sessions like the one I mentioned before, or if it’s explicit dirty talk. As time goes on, through playing in these small measures, your lover may grow more familiar with your pleasure and become open in the future to pushing the envelope.

If he says no, then I suggest you continue to fantasize about these desires you have and contemplate finding a lover who will satisfy you.

Hope this helps!

From AllExperts.Com

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