What I learned from Porno: PSE VS. GFE


You down with PSE?

Yeah, you know me!

You down with GFE?

Every last homie.

Recently, I visited The Erotic Review, a website that provides details and reviews for sex workers. It’s a swank catalog of deviance offered by the dollar. Sometimes, it amazes me how many women and men are living these private lives, both as secret merchants and consumers. This is the epitome of the black market, no matter how assimilated we have become. So, I scrolled through the list of escorts and their websites, in a haze of nostalgia since I used to post my fetish website on The Erotic Review; I, too, had to check off the acronyms that described my services. Fetish? Check. Domination? Check. FS (Full Service)? Blank.

There were other acronyms too. For escorts, there might be acronyms for sex acts, like FS (Full Service; a reference to full sexual engagement) and DATY (Dining at the Y; a reference to cunnilingus). There are also acronyms that describe the experience a client should expect. Originally, GFE, GirlFriend Experience, was an ideal encounter for clients who didn’t want to feel like a client. The escort may have a looser system when establishing payment in order to loosen the confines of the relationship. There are dinners, lectures, casual evenings, moments that require more than the typical hourly routine. This is different from a regular escort or sex worker, who could be very straightforward and discriminating about their time and how they spend it with clients.

These are are familiar acronyms to me, ones that I’ve had to decipher over time. But, one new acronym had sprung up from the pack, one that boggled my mind. PSE, Porn Star Experience, was GFE’s evil alter-ego.* An escort that provides PSE experience means that sex can be as dirty as one wants. Anal could be included, along with extreme gagging, facials, and other trademark sex acts that are expected in porn movies.

Women who described themselves as PSE offered hourly encounters at double the price of other escorts, ones that were still being reviewed and rated with great praise. Escorts who did offer PSE also received high ratings and review too, but, how can they not? Unless one is misleading clients with false advertising or poor performance, many of the PSE and GFE ladies are very popular. There are even ladies who offer both GFE and PSE.

Which begs the question of what men are truly looking for? Somehow, their desires have evolved and is reflected in these two experiences. A man can receive the tenderness and intimacy in a GFE or could fuck like a monkey with a PSE. But, couldn’t a GFE still provide anal and extreme deep throat but maintain all of the attributes that her title suggests?

The assumption is that a Porn Star is the ultimate dirty slut. She loves being used and abused, she has a dirty mouth, and she doesn’t care about how lonely you feel. She just wants to fuck. The Girlfriend embodies the combination of intimacy and nurturing that lonelier men might need. It’s the essential companionship.

What sucks is that the qualities of a PSE-type escort permeates into the style and attitudes of how pornography is shot and displayed for the viewer. Or, better yet, the most shallow characteristics in pornography have been bottled into a form of paid companionship.

Here, it’s so evident that pornography’s overall style, even in the most independent and “alternative” of smut, is perceived as dirty, violent, and sometimes unnecessarily salacious. Anyone could call you a filthy cunt, but try having them explain why you’re a filthy cunt… oh, and try having them explain their reason in a dirty, dirty way.

Tough.

Intimacy isn’t displaced completely. What’s wonderful about the multiple outlets of porn is that (much like life) if you dig deep enough you’ll find some really yummy shit. Or you just won’t care. But, for the most part, if porn is really perceived in extremes, with only shimmers of truly passionate encounters, then viewers may perceive their own sex lives in the extremes.

And, trust me, as someone who speaks to clients about their fantasies on a regular basis, my male callers do disclose about indecent affairs. Acts of fisting and deep throat made them the horniest. One enjoyed the sound of a woman gagging as a fat penis slides down her throat. But, a few of those male callers are involved in relationships, and do include their partners in the act in some fashion. One caller steadily fantasizes about “punching the pussy” (it was a joke, I swear, in regards to fisting) and extreme bondage, all of which the wife is the (un)willing participant. But, he does touch upon the need for lots of lube, oral (he’s giving, of course) and fore-play. In his mind, the entire sexual encounter is like an elaborate performance, wrought with Marquis de Sade themes. But, in the end, he was extremely grateful for having a chance to explore these fantasies. If his dreams only came true… then he would lose his mind!

His fantasies are an example of what porn doesn’t always teach us: We can have a PSE experience and still associate the intimacy and closeness that isn’t often seen in a RedTube clip.

*Options for escorts to select PSE are available on Escorts.Com.

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  1. Thank you, very nice post. Sure you check to see you again.

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