Ask A Pervert: I Want My Boyfriend to Rape Me

To be honest with you…I am embarrassed to be asking about it or even thinking it. It is not really Rape for me…honestly I don’t want to be raped. But I like to be held down or pushed against a wall or taken by surprise by my partner. The problem is that I don’t know how to approach him about it. I let him know that I like it when he holds my shoulders down…I just haven’t been brave enough to tell him my ‘fetish’. I’ve always been the quiet innocent girl and I think that’s what attracted Zack to me in the first place. Everyone likes me because of how kind and honest I am…but this has been eating at me for some time. Zack can only orgasm if I do first…which kind of puts me on the spot. I can’t always have an orgasm. And even then it’s always clitoral. When he pushes me into the bed I almost cum…But not quite…I just don’t want to turn him off with the suggestion of it and he already professed his love for me…What can I do about this? I feel like a liar for not speaking my mind…then again, should I just keep my mouth shut and play it safe? I love him and I don’t want to loose him. I would appreciate your advice ^_^ thank you!Let me first just discuss your sexual activity with your boyfriend. Then, we can begin to talk about rape fantasies.

Sex-play in and unto itself is an encounter where penetrative sex is not the main attraction. Instead, you spend time exploring your body and Zack’s body through self-pleasure, mutual masturbation, and oral exploration (if you know what I mean). Basically, you and your lover do everything but penetrate. Let him help you get an orgasm by playing with your clit, or show him how you masturbate so he knows how to please you. No fantasy can substitute the knowledge your lover gains by exploring your body and, ultimately, by giving you pleasure. Also understand that for many women, “vaginal” orgasms aren’t always possible unless there’s plenty of clitoral stimulation. So, if he needs you to come, then penetration paired with clitoral play is possibly best.

Elements of rape fantasy – fear, victimization, powerlessness – are eroticized. So, what I suggest is that you are very detailed with Zack about your sexual fantasy. Talk to him about it. This could be during a very sensual moment. And explain why this turns you on – all with confidence! You can still play the quiet, innocent girl in your fantasy, but in your relationship – out of the bedroom – you need to be vocal about what you want in order to get what you want.

Ways that you can begin to integrate role-play into your sex. Start by bringing just some details of your rape fantasies into the physical encounter. Maybe you can make your boyfriend just threaten you. Or, tell him to hold you down while you fight under his grip. In order to ensure your boundaries are respected, both of you can come up with safewords that you can use during role-play.

Watch my Youtube video on Dark Play Sessions – – I go into great detail about how to plan out scenes, how to practice the use of safe words, and how you can talk to your partner about your fantasies.

Just remember to talk about how you expect this fantasy to occur and what you don’t want your lover to do.

    • Daisy Azuras
    • December 16th, 2009

    I know I’m no expert here but I do know a lot about animal sexuality. Horses have a thing for rape. Even when a mare is heat she tends to be hounded by the stallion and mounted very forcefully while the stallion bites hold of her neck and grips her flanks with his forelegs and proceeds to pound the holy hell out of her vagina. The mare will continue to move around and mock kick at him until he has her under his control. It’s kind of hot to watch even if you’re not into horses sexually.

    • “It’s kind of hot to watch even if you’re not into horses sexually.”
      what does that mean?
      sounds like a lil bestiality to me…

    • Ryan
    • January 22nd, 2010

    It seems like the biggest problem is you being afraid to tell him about this fantasy. If you can’t bring yourself to do it then send him a link to this post. He should be able to understand just be prepared and open to him expressing some fetish/fantasy he has not told you before.

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