Becoming the Sexual Woman… Part One

While there are many women who do use and enjoy pornography (whether by themselves or with a partner), there’s always that one porn flick that makes you wonder, Should I be watching this? Is she enjoying herself? You know… beautiful Lolita-esque girl with (un)naturally big tits, curvaceous body, very eager and… sweet. As the movie plays on, she’s attacked from every angle by big thick stiff dicks, like tentacle porn… only tentacles are more inviting than the organs aimed at her face, mouth, pussy, and ass. Next thing you know, her entire body is used like a Chinese fingertrap. The girl’s taking it, most definitely, but her eyes lack the fire or spark of sexual interest than one cannot define but can surely spot. She knows how to pose that’s most pleasing to her suitors and to the camera; but, for those watching, the scene lacks sensuality.

Yes, explicit sex acts can be sensual. Our interpretations of such acts have changed as pornography changed. And, as pornography changed, the way women have internalized sexuality has changed as well.

One of my favorite documentaries is the PBS special on Pornography. It’s 4 hours+ of intensive history and commentary from an abundance of historians, pornographers, performers, writers, and so forth.

Originally, pornography began as an art form, one that decorated the walls of aristocracy in Pompeii, was featured in bibles, and even distributed as written erotica. These different mediums occurred during different points of history. One must remember that such erotic art was only accessible by the wealthy and the upper-class, as they had the means to purchase these bibles, commission artists to paint scenes of debauchery, and were literate enough to understand the text.

Anyway, the documentary briefly touched upon the troubling acceptance of photography as a new medium. As photographers tried to mimic other artists when featuring women as sexual(ized) subject, they discovered that the end result was different. While artwork like those found in the Histoire de Dom Bougre seemed depicted so perfectly, the female subjects used in early photography didn’t quite capture the same pose, nor the same beautifully virtuous (and sensual) expression that their oiled counterparts wore so perfectly. Of course, for an artist of that time period, it wasn’t easy to find a willing female subject who would remain in coitus until the painting was finished (unless she was a prostitute, presumably), so the artist had to think her up – and, if this was the case, then it was an idealized woman captured in the paintings, which is unlike the real women hired to pose in photographs. Since the perfect women was immortalized in ink, photographers had to learn how to pose their subjects properly, but even then there was that hint of sensuality missing. Instead, it was an honest woman in an unrealistic setting being sexualized. Unless she was a highly sexual woman, then she looked (and probably felt) out of place.

Let’s fast forward to the now and look at that gang-banging hussy in the porno flick. With this in mind, as well as my own experience, I realize that it’s quite easy to put our bodies on cruise control and let sexual experiences happen. But sexuality itself was, and still is, a learned trait. Sure, the acts themselves are sexy and sexual enough to make one masturbate, but to find a sexual woman is to find a diamond in a rough because being sexual is not inherent, but rather learned through experience and knowledge of the body, heart, mind, and soul. And, if we’re not taught to be sexual in school, then how else are we going to learn it?

  1. as a lover of porn and share it often with my lover who also appreciates it greatly, he is always surprise at the subjects I like and if anything push his boundaries with it x its all about suspending belief, believing in the possibilities of perfect sex, perfect love…. always the optomist x

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