What Valentine’s Day Means to Me (Now that It’s Over)


It’s best to contemplate this pseudo-holiday on another pseudo-holiday (Presidents’ Day). One is legitimate because banks and post offices are closed; the other because Hallmark makes a fortune. Because pink and red are no longer just colors but brands, labels. And so is the heart. Sorry Presidents, you’re just not that marketable. But you are useful for retail discounts at department stores.

I do enjoy the holiday for its mushiness and its encouragement of indulgent deserts. I feel very greedy on this day, mind you – greedy for love, greedy for really delicious food, greedy for an incredible lay, for romance…

But, if we removed the box around the heart of how exciting Valentine’s Day can actually be, then I think we’d have less of the naysayers who are against it (which is everyone, to some degree).

Thanksgiving and Christmas are filled with legitimate naysayers, mind you. How many of us loathe/love the trip back to the family’s house? But, that’s just it. I have to participate because it’s my family. And I end up having a great time. Fine by me. But, Valentine’s Day begs us to go after that most disappointing and addictive of emotions… love. Ugh. That’s what we hate about Valentine’s Day, the ugly side of rejection, contentment or obsession for another. This is the one day in which you should pursue “true happiness”, love. If you fail, then you’ve pretty much failed the entire day. It doesn’t matter how many of those paper hearts you receive at work.

I suppose there’s an element of sexiness to the day, but that’s injected by us, right? But, it’s a completely separate element from V-Day. Even the roots of this “holiday” don’t involve sex nor openly discusses it.  if we our energy and need for love into the need for sex, then I think we would forever change our opinions about it. Instead of Valentine’s Day just focusing on love, let it focus on sex and sexual exploration! Why can’t we make it a day just to make love, not to slow dance with someone at a party or pretend like you might have a future together? Besides, who cares about the future when right now is what matters most!

First, we need to toss out some of the traditional themes of Valentine’s Day. #1 on the list, thanks to Eve Ensler, V-Day now also represents a day to remember sexual violence. Sure, give it a day. But, I don’t want to think about that on a day meant to celebrate sexual love and celebration. Both sexual violence and sexual love are themes too big to accommodate one another. Leave Valentine’s Day alone.

If Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate sex and to have sex with others, then how are the children going to celebrate? How?!? Well, this is the perfect day to really get aggressive with sexual education. We can make this a day where children and parents can learn about ways to become comfortable with their sexuality. And by teaching them to find love in sexuality, then you can inevitably teach them to value themselves and love themselves in healthy ways.

On a sexually free day like this one, all of those note cards we send out so freely would become invitations to perform dirty deeds with an admirer. So, if you want to fuck someone, send them a card. I think that’s pretty hot and stress-free. Think of all the time you take to get ready to go out on dates or visit the clubs in search of a booty call. Now, imagine one day where you can just say (in the nicest possible way, of course):

Hey,

It’s Valentine’s Day. And I’ve been thinking about you.

Will you be my Valentine? I got some pretty good ideas on how we can spend our time together!

xoxo

Much better, thank you.

And, heck, you don’t have to celebrate Valentine’s Day ON Valentine’s Day. You can see one Valentine then and another some other day. That way, there’s no pressure. By then, if neither of you respond back with interest, then it’s not your time… (Yet?). Or you can get all of your Valentines together and celebrate this way. Don’t receive any cards? No worries. Then, you spend V-Day having sex with someone you really love: You.

You might consider this plan just a little too… liberal? Well, you’re being a stick-in-the-mud. And you’re kind of crazy. Promoting the traditional ideas of Love on Valentine’s Day, and thus promoting all of the ideals that come with it, the romances that defy all odds, and all of that business WITHOUT strongly promoting sex along with it is celebrating only a small slither of “love” – one that seems monogamous and unobtainable. No wonder some of us are so Anti-Valentine’s. Quite frankly, I don’t want to feel pressured to go and “love” someone. But, a holiday that promotes sexual freedom and education, acts of love that reflect its true meaning as an international bond (not the subject of a romantic comedy)? Sign me up.

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