The Magic (and the Science) of an Orgasm Part. II – Of Human Bonding

Maybe I do share orgasms with others; but, I believe they are not just about the physical onset of ecstasy. Maybe it’s something a little deeper…

So last week, I provided an article that discusses the correlation between our brain chemistry and how we build relationships. In fact, writer, Dr. Helen Ph.D., suggests that there are three chemical occurrences in our brain that catalyze our need or desire for “monogamy”:

“The sex drive (associated primarily with the testosterone system in both men and women) developed foremost to motivate us to seek sex with a range of partners. Romantic love (associated primarily with the dopamine system) evolved to enable us to focus our time and metabolic energy on just one individual at a time. And the attachment system (primarily associated with the oxytocin and vasopressin systems) emerged to motivate us to sustain a pair-bond long enough to rear at least one child through infancy as a team.”

That said, while Dr. Fischer acknowledges these systems’ motives, she also acknowledges that these systems don’t work well with one another. Sometimes the testosterone may flow heavier than, say, the dopamine. Or perhaps the vasopressin and oxytocin systems are working over time. Let’s not disregard the myriad of external influences that we use to make decisions about who we have sex with, why we have sex, and what sex will eventually mean for us.

She has other really topical and interesting articles. But, now I want to start where we left off from last week, since the article above kind of helps explain why I have such a big, fat, emotional mouth… I think.

So, I sometimes have a gentleman caller at my door. We actually had only seen each other a few times. Hmmm… I wanted him since the first time I laid eyes on him. In fact, I had the moment planned out because I wanted to get his attention. My tight button-up skirt. Beautiful, long bare legs. And the loudest, warmest laugh that reverberated through my body and made my cleavage vibrate.

It took just a couple of months, but I finally caught him. Hm… and he was everything I wanted and more. A beautiful youthful spirit, a poetic sensibility, nice hot body, a longtime girlfriend –

Oh… right. I should explain that. See, he’s in a relationship with another woman. And they seem very happy and in love. Unfortunately, she travels quite often and leaves him in the city all by his lonesome.

Anyway, before our last visit, we fucked the most incredible fuck 2.5 times. Then we rubbed our naked bodies together while running our mouths along every deep, dark curve of the bodies. Yum! After a brief nap, he left. I stayed awake just exuberant and grateful that I could experience this. If I believed in a God, I would have gotten down on my hands and knees and thanked her for such an incredible fuck. Instead, I let this magnificent energy just remain…

…And then I wrote a love letter in which I told him that, well, I was in love with him.

Was that a good idea? It’s not like I didn’t mean it. But, I didn’t mean to give my lover a choice between me and his girlfriend. In fact, I wrote to him that my declaration wasn’t meant to sway his affections. He should remain in his relationship; I’m way too flighty to be a reason to end a relationship. And my intention was never to fall into his arms and live happily ever after. My story just wasn’t written that way.

I simply wanted to insure that we have sex again. And I wanted to show my sincerity by thanking him, as he’s done with me so many times before.

My letter worked; we saw each other again and had the roughest fuck of my life. I felt like his cock had grown thicker since we last saw each other. And he made these desperate primal grunts as his teeth tore into my nipples… SHIT! Why can’t we promote physical love? Why always this romantic, relationship bullshit? Why don’t we give credit to the lovers that light our bodies on fire?

But, then, we had the talk. He can’t be with me. He doesn’t want to hurt me… blah.
I sat up in bed and shifted my eyebrows. “Um… you shouldn’t leave your girlfriend. I don’t want you to.”

I didn’t want to say “I’m in love with you” again. “Love” is such a stubborn word. Too much baggage. Probably not the best choice to describe really good sex. But, I didn’t want to seem insensitive. He was a very tender person; on some level, I didn’t want to hurt him either. We were both using each other; is there any way to say that in a loving and romantic way?

That last night together, we stared at the shapes of the lights on the wall and waited for the flashes of the car lights to strike through the patterns like a lightening bolt.

This memory is all I really need right now, that and my enduring lust for him.

    • Charles
    • March 23rd, 2010

    Great article!

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