Being Sex Negative Could be A Positive Thing

Okay, so for the past couple of weeks I’ve heard some very interesting and new opinions that may have me changing my own mind, at least to try on someone else’s tightly strapped shoes. What really pushed me to write this essay is the article by Lawrence Lanoff of Dodson and Ross. He talks about a new study that explains why morality is a brain-induced response to acts of obscenity or acts deemed sinful or indecent in the eyes of religion.

If anything, this study actually shows us how easy it is for others to change our moral compass… or better yet, how easily scientists can objectively repair our moral compasses. The case studies mentioned how to increase enough guilt in others so they can make the right moral choices. One example they mentioned was a failed murder attempt, letting someone walk across a bridge that only you know is dangerous, and drunk drivers who make it home safely. Lawrence is right; morality is mentally induced, which means that it can easily be shaped by scientists, ourselves, and the metaphysical parties that we believe in.

Now, it’s one thing if we have control over our own morality, in other words, we can choose what morality means to each of us as individuals rather than as a collective. But, when we let forces we cannot see or forces we cannot understand have control over our morality (scientists and deities alike), then we might be stepping into some murky territory.

Another thing. I know I’m usually the type of gal to be all for moral decay; but I want to point out that we need guilt, just like we need greed!

Will and I were speaking on a panel about sex work and human rights. Believe it or not, we desperately wanted naysayers and religious hammerheads to be there. We wanted the doubtful, the depressingly academic, and beyond. Quite frankly, we needed some sex negativity. And I don’t think sex negativity should be completely abolished, or will be completely abolished. If it were, we wouldn’t have these discussions, we wouldn’t have to talk for or against. We would be rather content, sure with plenty of other problems, but content nonetheless.

I’m sorry, but there is no room in the bedroom for contentment.

Contentment breeds boredom and sometimes too much sex positivity can be fucking boring. Guilt is the glue of sexual deviance. We need it to make sex seem dirtier and even more primal than it probably really is.

You may or may not know my love of supernatural sex and satanic rape fantasies. Ugh. Makes me gush. Of course, the fascination/repulsion of satanic sex is an unspoken staple in our society. We all fear the devil. We are all compelled by the devil. We want to get close enough to the flame, no matter how dangerous it is.

Almost every movie I can think of that shows some form of demonic sex portrays it as rape. And, I know you feel the same way I do. You get really aroused because this demon is banging the shit out of this beautiful and distressed lady, one that looks so pretty when she’s in pain like that. And, by society’s standards, since her body belongs to God (i.e. man), then the devil’s biggest fuck you is to violate a woman and have her enjoy it, even when she’s not supposed to right in front of God’s throbbing erection (i.e. man)… It’s cuckolding at its best!

The Salem Witch Trials was nothing but a perverse example of this interpretation. Nude, tortured, publicly humiliated and shamed, many women had to comply with the allegations of not only cursing their neighbors (child’s play) but also having sex with the devil and copulating in orgies. Consider this mindfuck. You can’t tell me this isn’t still persistent in our society.

Is it right? *Shrugs* Is it okay? *Shrugs* Classic case of thanking the uncle who diddled you when you were a child for paying your college tuition.

So what do we do with all of this sexually emotional baggage, tumors that bleed bad juice into all other facets of our society, from the way we treat sex workers to how we treat cheating husbands to children, etc?


Really, if Lawrence wants the moral lid lifted off of sexuality, then right now is that time. Think about it. There are movements in place that aim to expand legal and cultural significance to the sexually repressed. Media globalizes storytelling efforts so we can share all sexual experiences (fact or fiction) to those in other countries. And, whatever thunderstorm of conservatism and religious morality rains upon us because it’s a part of our cultural ecosystem. It’s necessary and the heavier it rains, the more that this causes sexual expression to flourish in numerous ways. This is continuous and it will persist so long as we continue to keep our moral compass mushy.

    • nktrygg
    • April 2nd, 2010

    While peer pressure may alter a person’s moral choice in the moment

    if you really want to change their morality, give them a hat with a magnet in it
    “Rather than judging people based on their actions, most people tend to judge based on the intent of those actions, too.

    If a man trips his girlfriend on the sidewalk, for example, we determine if he is morally wrong based on whether it was by accident or on purpose.

    But when a small area of the brain just above the right ear, called the right temporo-parietal junction, is disabled, we lose that ability entirely.

    Instead, we judge the morality of an action based solely on its outcome. ”

    we do determine our own individual morality, and that collectively informs the social morality.

    morality comes from our social herd side, to cooperate and get along to survive.

    you can do kinky sex without guilt, unless the guilt is your fetish


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