Posts Tagged ‘ bdsm ’

Pain is Our Domain

Pain is necessary. It’s programmed into the very fibers of our being. Is it okay to feel pain? That’s not for me to say. I’ve inflicted pain for pleasure and for pay. I’ve wanted to hurt, to feel sore… Because it just feels so good somehow. Like being burned. Masochistic as it may seem, the searing of the flesh for that one nanosecond… it’s like a liquid needle that bores a hole through one’s surface. It swims and swims until it eventually dissolves. Like sperm. Lovely image, yes? When pain is perceived in this fashion, then perhaps we can begin to understand why pain is so essential. And inevitable. Look how easily it can spread to others. And how deeply it touches our soul. And, yet, our bodies are prepared for this. Whatever has gotten us here… it’s like our fate, all of our emotions, all of these sensations are literally programmed in our bodies – chemically induced or catalyzed by pain itself. By recognizing these strengths, then we can see that pain can be manipulated. Pain can be confronted. Continue reading

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Am I Being a Greedy Whore?

He was a very willing and open-minded lover who was quite excited to please me. He sent me naked photos and anticipated our meeting to be, well, satisfactory in he biblical sense. I had gathered the same, I suppose. But, I could never say it. I didn’t want to guarantee anything in html. Continue reading

Ask a Pervert: Smoking and Strap-On

Hi. I was hoping you could maybe explain what I think is maybe a fetish or just a fantasy. My wife and I have been married for more than 25 years and I consider her still stunning. I want to know as I have aged I find women who smoke very sexy even though I detest the act. I also want my wife to possibly use a strap on while she smokes and has her way with me. I have wanted this more and more and she is not adverse,what is wrong with me? Thanks for your help. Continue reading

Will We Never Have the Best Sex of Our Lives?

And are we to blame?

Yes. Continue reading

Ask a Pervert: Weaponry in Role-Play

This is a new section in my website. You can check out other questions posted on the main page as well.

This question comes from allexperts.com

OK I am looking for some weapons to use to torture my friends while doing bdsm. Like some people are really scared when your rub a knife against someones pussy. Should I use a gun like a rifle or a pistol?
Any suggestions?

My first question to you is what type of role play scenario are you and your friend going to try? I know you said torture, but is it physical, verbal, or genital? This may help to narrow the selection of weaponry you need for intimidation, as well as how you’re going to play with it. Also, I want to assume that your partner is A-Okay with using weapons in your play session… if so, then let’s proceed.

If this is your first role-play session experimenting with weapons, then I would start with very simple, non-lethal items that you may have around your home. If you want to inflict some level of pain to your victim, er, I mean lover, then use clothespins for the nipples or genitals. You can even use ice – it may not seem so lethal but for a sensitive partner there’s nothing more intense than sliding a frosty ice cube up your lover’s anus or even teasing it against their genitals.

If you just want to intimidate your lover (Meaning you don’t actually want to hurt them), then ALWAYS use weapons that you’re both familiar with and you’re both comfortable handling. Also make sure that your lover knows that you will use a weapon to scare them. That way it truly becomes their decision if they want to play under these frighteningly sexy conditions. Knives may seem like a great idea, but even one with a dull blade can become dangerous if you’re not careful. If you have a pretty progressive sex toy shop in your area, then stop in and ask about toys that are for BDSM role-play. From there, you might be introduced to a number of fun torture implements like the Wartenberg Wheel and vampire gloves. A Wartenberg Pinwheel is a wheel with small, sharp, spikes on the edges. You can tickle your lover by rolling it gently against the skin, or it can become painful when you press the spikes downward. Here, you control the level of intensity and, by listening to your partner, you can use it for both intimidation and sensual play. Same goes for a pair of vampire gloves. These gloves have small needles planted into the palms and fingers. When you rub it against your lover’s skin, it can either tickle or torture. I’ve personally used both tools for sensual massages, genital torture, and extreme physical torture. I’ve also had them used on me so I know what my submissive partner is feeling. You can also go online to websites like JT’s Stockroom (www.stockroom.com). They also have a wonderful selection of BDSM tools.

Don’t EVER, EVER, EVER use a real gun on your partner. You know this, obviously, and of course you are talking about fake pistols and guns, preferably used to shoot water or nothing at all. Of course, you don’t want a REAL gun, right? Right! Well, fake guns are amazing intimidation devices for torture. I suggest doing a bit of legwork to see if there are dildos or other sex toys shaped like a gun (there has to be!). If so, you have a winner! You can use this for both intimidation or sex-play. If you are going to be using toy guns to “violate” your lover, then please don’t actually penetrate. None of these toys are made for insertion and since they are made of plastic, they can become uncomfortable. If your lover’s into it, make sure she plays with it first so she can determine how pleasurable the gun might be. Since a toy gun can be so, well, phallic, you can use the gun and stroke it against the pleasurable parts of her body.

If this is your first time playing, again, use non-lethal items for intimidation and pain infliction. If you’re both pretty familiar with BDSM and have practiced it a few times together, then check out BDSM sex toys like the ones mentioned above. Don’t ever use guns. Ever. And don’t use a lethal object (such as a knife or even a boxcutter) unless your partner knows in advance and understands the risk in using these items. There are always risks, so please be sure to use safe words to gauge your lover’s comfort and always keep a close eye on your lover’s well-being in case of changes. There is no safe way to use weapons for torture, but you and your lover can agree to make it safe and comfortable for the both of you.

Good luck!

AFN’s Road to Kink Presents: Sexual Sensory – Voyeurism

This was originally posted at my old website; but you can also check it out here. Also, next week, I will return with next Road to Kink articles!

The body, in various stages of movement and inaction, has been the basis of many Road to Kink topics. This week, we will return to it for our source of sexual inspiration and power. We’re going to take a look, have a smell, indulge in a taste, steal a touch, and listen in on the many, many forms of body worship.

As you can already tell, we’re focusing on the five senses, each of which can illicit fetishistic associations with either the purpose of each sense or the sense itself. Of course, we will talk about the many body parts that are fetishized by all, but, I thought we should at least appreciate the unforeseen power that our senses play on us when we live in our fetish. All of our senses provide rooted connections to us and our fetish-object. And, for some of us, we needn’t look too far for worship. Some of us simply need to take a whiff or listen in… and this is how we connect.

Sensory deprivation is a heightened and intense state of withdrawal of the senses. This is practiced throughout the BDSM community in many different ways. The absence of one sense can heighten the others. Take them all away and you have nothing but your own mind to keep you company, to expand upon the anxieties that may plague you, or to play upon the sheer ecstasy you may feel from being helpless, powerless, and constricted from doing what comes naturally.

Pretend now that I’ve deprived you of all five senses. Which would you want me to return to you first?

Sight is my safest bet. For many fetishists the visual cues that their fetish-object gives them is intensified through the aesthetic. Voyeurism is the arousal gained of spying in on others engaged in intimate acts. Not only do sexual encounters provoke Peeping Toms, but undressing and “upskirting” (looking up skirts with spy cameras) are also highlights.

Spy-cam pornography often helps to insatiate the fetish, popular website like Hidden Zone and Voyeur Porn feature semi-authentic footage of young ladies being caught in dressing rooms, bathrooms, and shower stalls. Strip clubs and peep shows offer the same advantage for voyeur who want to safely satisfy themselves.

Scoptophiles are similar to voyeurs; however, they enjoy the risk and consequential element of danger that comes with uninvitingly spying on others. The subject of gaze is objectified; its appearance is far more significant than its feelings or attitudes.

On the other side of the spectrum, autagonistophilia is a sexual fetish in which the fetishist purposely places his or herself in a situation where an onlooker may accidentally stumble upon the fetishist when s/he is naked. For example, an autagonistophile may leave the curtains open and the bedroom lights on when s/he is getting dressed. S/He is in the right spot where an onlooker could easily spy on them (which is the true intent of this entire occurrence).

Wow, look at the time! Four more senses to go. Which one should we focus on next?

We’ll found out later!

Dominatrix Distracts Motorists with Her Torture Chamber on Wheels

Holy Shit… someone must give this woman a medal. In a recession period that has even brought the sex industry down a considerable peg or two (Sex and liquor always had their heads above water during financial lows), a Dominatrix in Germany is proving that creativity can surely make your business soar.

Or get you in trouble. Continue reading