When Your Pink “Button” is Not Pink Enough


This new advancement in cosmetic surgery promises to make your pussy look fresh. Yep. If you thought your pussy was looking a little dull, a little lackluster in the mirror, then perhaps you should invest in this treatment. My New Pink Button (mynewpinkbutton.com) is a “genital colorant” that claims to restore the pink back into your package. It comes in four colors, all of which are priced at $29.95 a tin. Named after fresh Hollywood Starlets, each shade of pink offers its own unique quality. For girls seeking a paler, translucent pink complexion, “Marilyn” may fulfill your need:

“Marilyn is the lightest of our colors. Good for beginners who want to make a slight change fresh color change in their appearance or those who are very fair skinned.”

I’m most perplexed about the shade, “Audrey:”

“Audrey – For the woman that loves to be daring, we bring you “Audrey”! This is the deepest, darkest color that we offer to give you a bold burgundy pink color. Perfect for everyone, and your own base color will determine the depth of this shade. Tonight its Show time!!”

The pink elephant in the room is the issue of ethnic pussy. Women of color do have darker pussies. However, I don’t want to get ahead of myself. I do have a pink pussy. It’s just not represented here.

When I (well, my pussy) performed in the Manual Skills video, I had an opportunity to watch my pussy in an intimate way that I wouldn’t normally use. As I stretched out the lips and folds of my pussy, I noticed that the base of my skin was lighter. My pussy was also a rainbow of deep purple hues, wet and plantlike under the barrage of the spotlights above me.

Perhaps I have an advantage, then. But, I never knew that my paler-looking counterparts had a problem with looking… dark.

First of all, who notices that sh*t? Do you think a guy or even another woman would care about the color of your pussy? Quite honestly, all questions and inquiries about dark pussy are sent to me, because, from what I can gather, most men and women do not believe white pussies can be dark or get any darker.

If a problem is suppose to result in a solution, then perhaps My Pink Button is a solution that developed a problem, a reason why women should buy this product. Based on the testimonials, consumers ranged from mid-30s to early 60s and are straight. So perhaps the darkening of the pussy happens later in life? If it’s described as a “temporary dye”, then is it meant to work on paler skin that has gotten darker?

I am completely confused by this product, and the women who purchase it. Somehow the idea of cleanliness and beauty has, again, latched itself on to an ethnicity, thus implying that darker pussy is undesirable (whatever). Like a backhanded compliment, it also implies that these women have created their own problem because of their own insecurity. What real man (or woman) on Earth would deny themselves pleasure because a pussy is, er, dark? That doesn’t even make sense to me.

Just a while ago, I was discussing the complexion of a penis to that of its… carrier. Sometimes a lover of yellow or even a light brown complexion will have an incredibly dark penis. A bruised purple complexion. Hell, I’ve even seen this on “pinker” gentlemen. I’ve even seen spotted penises: a beautiful pink or yellow-ish shaft with a splotch of brown on the tip of the head or on the side of the cock. I don’t see the guys running out to by My New Pink Dick. Nope, their products? Anything that will make their dick look bigger and maintain an erection.

Take that as a rule of thumb ladies: You are spending far too much money on problems you’ve created for yourself.

  1. Oh dear! Does this mean the end of anal bleaching!?!?! What will I do with my Saturday nights now?!?!

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